The Horse, the Unicorn and the Rabid Porcupine.

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A sad #Brexit tale with no happy ending in sight

Because like this @VIZMedia reader I have become concerned that I perhaps haven’t mentioned recently how upset I am about the escalating #BrexitChaos

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#Brexcrement has gained traction on Twitter and I must admit it’s the only term that comes close to conveying just what a disgusting mess we’ve made for ourselves, for no discernible (logical) reason or conceivable (realistic) gain.

Like this @VIZMedia reader I have become concerned that I perhaps haven’t mentioned recently how upset I am about this escalating #BrexitChaos

For two solid years we’ve been subjected to sheer fuck-witedness, Orwellian mind-fucks, and shameless lies so porky they’d get @David_Cameron (who, lest we forget, dumped us into this steaming pile to begin with) very excited.

#Brexitshambles grinds you down to the point you just don’t want to hear it any more. Fuck it, just go ahead and drive the country off a cliff, see what happens, I told you so… thank goodness #secretlifeofthezoo is on. I won’t be answering my calls for the next few years.

But we can’t. We can’t let the @BBC get away with biased coverage that normalizes this madness. We can’t pretend that things will somehow be bearable. The stakes are incredibly high, and we do have the power to make more of a difference now than after March.

So let’s keep pushing for a #PeoplesVote and pointing out to the biased @BBC that this is not a “so-called People’s Vote” it is what it says on the tin, because the first one was bullshit.

The referendum is still held up as “the will of the people” by those who are either too dumb to grasp the fact they’ve been had, or the ill-intentioned players who stand to gain from our collective loss.

The narrow win for Leave was based ENTIRELY on lies. Not.ONE.single.promise has (nor will it ever be) materialized. It was all bullshit. Add to that the plentiful evidence of tampering with the electoral process, dodgy and illegal dealings by the campaigns, Russian interference. Etc. etc. etc. ad infinitum and you strip away ANY pretence of a legitimate process we should feel bound to.

And besides, @theresa_may is certainly not adverse to going back and asking the same question until she gets the answer she wants… That’s her “plan” with trying to get her deal through parliament.

And yes, it’s a shitty deal, but it is also the best we were ever going to get. Because we were the ones who chose to cover ourselves in #Brexcrement — much to the bemusement and chagrin of our friends and allies across the channel.

Truth is, we had a perfectly good horse which we sent to the knacker’s yard because some buffoon showed up at the door promising a pretty unicorn that we could ride to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Now we’ve been delivered a rabid porcupine and told that the only option we have is to make the best of it and try and ride it. I say let’s try and rescue the horse before they actually shoot it in four months’ time.

What really gets my blood boiling is how some people still persist with the fantasy and stupidity. I have some sympathy with those who were duped and genuinely regret voting to leave. It was heartbreaking to listen to this caller asking himself on @LBC “what have I done to my country”

After all, much to my shame and horror in hindsight, I used to love watching @BorisJohnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg on @haveigotnews before I realized they weren’t harmless buffoons, but dangerous vipers who would sell their grandmother into slavery for the merest chance of furthering their political ambitions. They certainly sold out the entire country without hesitation or hint of scruple.

But the rest, who would still vote leave if given a second chance. After all that we’ve seen and now know without a shadow of uncertainty? And they have the gall to moan when people brand them stupid?

Let’s be clear. If you’re not intentionally evil and self-serving like Nigel Farage, @michaelgove @BorisJohnson or Jacob Rees-Mogg, then the only alternative is that yes, you are stupid.

Because it takes a special kind of stupid not only to be taken in by lies so transparent that half the country saw straight through them, but to insist on believing them after even the people who told them to you in the first place have disowned those absurd promises.

So, to sum up for those who STILL have a hard time grasping the obvious:

1 — THE #BREXIT UNICORN WAS NEVER REAL

2 — THE THING IN THE BOX WAS ALWAYS A RABID PORCUPINE

3 — YOU SOLD YOUR HORSE TO THE GLUE FACTORY FOR NOTHING

Technology writer for FastCo, Quartz, The Next Web, Ars Technica, Wired + more. Consultant specializing in VR #MixedReality and Strategic Communications

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